IT'S difficult enough to turn 65, which is what I'll be doing before the end of the year.
It's hard enough to understand the gobbledygook the U.S. government sends about Medicare Part A, Medicare Part B, Medicare Part D and such.
The last thing this senior citizen need is a dangling modifier from the West Virginia Public Employees Insurance Agency.
I know we live in an era when everyone thinks he or she can write and considers grammar as a gift from God rather than something one has to learn.
As an inveterate reader of Internet blogs, I can attest to that fact. Most bloggers should probably either not write or go back to school and learn grammar.
And so should the PEIA critter who wrote a form letter I recently received.
As I have noted previously, my wife is an instructor at Marshall Community and Technical College. She carries me as a dependent on her PEIA insurance. I have wondered for months now how that insurance might change when I turn the magic age of 65.
My wife is younger than I and it will be a few years before she retires.
I received a "special notice" from PEIA the middle of this month that answered my question. Or did it?
"PEIA records indicate that you are the dependent of a PEIA policy holder that will reach the age sixty-five within the next several months," the notice said.
Reading it sent a chill down my spine. PEIA thinks my wife is going to become 65 soon. That's not true. I'm the one who will reach the age of 65, not my wife.
A phone call to PEIA put me in contact with a helpful person who told me that no, PEIA knows it is I, not my wife who is turning 65 and I was being informed about what I have to do once I turn 65..
IT'S difficult enough to turn 65, which is what I'll be doing before the end of the year.
It's hard enough to understand the gobbledygook the U.S. government sends about Medicare Part A, Medicare Part B, Medicare Part D and such.
The last thing this senior citizen need is a dangling modifier from the West Virginia Public Employees Insurance Agency.
I know we live in an era when everyone thinks he or she can write and considers grammar as a gift from God rather than something one has to learn.
As an inveterate reader of Internet blogs, I can attest to that fact. Most bloggers should probably either not write or go back to school and learn grammar.
And so should the PEIA critter who wrote a form letter I recently received.
As I have noted previously, my wife is an instructor at Marshall Community and Technical College. She carries me as a dependent on her PEIA insurance. I have wondered for months now how that insurance might change when I turn the magic age of 65.
My wife is younger than I and it will be a few years before she retires.
I received a "special notice" from PEIA the middle of this month that answered my question. Or did it?
"PEIA records indicate that you are the dependent of a PEIA policy holder that will reach the age sixty-five within the next several months," the notice said.
Reading it sent a chill down my spine. PEIA thinks my wife is going to become 65 soon. That's not true. I'm the one who will reach the age of 65, not my wife.
A phone call to PEIA put me in contact with a helpful person who told me that no, PEIA knows it is I, not my wife who is turning 65 and I was being informed about what I have to do once I turn 65..
I went back and read the first sentence of the notice again, then showed it to my wife, who is an instructor of developmental English. Her classes are for students who need a little extra help in the area of grammar.
"It's a dangling modifier," she said. The clause in question is "that will reach the age sixty-five within the next several months."
Which noun does the clause modify - "dependent" or "PEIA policyholder"?
That's an important question, and proves conclusively why proper grammar is so important, especially in business and government writing.
May I suggest a change in the form? Write it this way:
"PEIA records indicate that you are a dependent of a PEIA policyholder and you will reach the age of sixty-five within the next several months."
There are other problems with the form, some of them grammatical and others simply confusing. This is a time in my life when I don't need to be confused further.
And the fact I assuaged my senior panic with a call to PEIA was a blessing.
But why cause the panic at all by sending soon-to-be Medicare enrollees a piece of paper that might cause a heart attack?
Just a thought, PEIA, but one worth cogitating about (he said, as he ended a sentence with a preposition).
Peyton may be reached by e-mail at david.pey...@gmail.com.
